Our Children Are Not Responsible For Our Feelings

Our children are not responsible for our feelings.

Neither is anyone else for that matter.

We create our feelings every single day with our own thoughts.

Sometimes we say, “Well, they said ______________ and THAT made me feel ___________________.” But in reality, nobody has the power to make us feel anything but us.

We get to choose every day the feelings we want to feel in our bodies with the thoughts that we think. Do others sometimes say or do things that are hurtful? Sure. But we hurt when we are making it mean something about us. Just because something may feel true at the moment, doesn’t mean it is true.

When we see our child doing something that brings us joy or happiness, it’s not truly what they did that causes us to feel happy, it’s the thoughts we have about witnessing that act that cause us to feel a certain way inside.

So, if our child demonstrates a behavior that frustrates us or makes us feel angry with them, it’s not truly the behavior, but rather our thoughts around that behavior that are truly causing us to feel pain.

It can be helpful to pause and separate the child from the behavior (or stress response) they are exhibiting and to remind ourselves, that is not who they are, but rather how they are currently dealing with the influx of emotion they are feeling. And rather than disciplining at that time, get curious as to what they may be feeling and ask yourself, how can I support them in a very normal part of life; the processing of big emotions?

When we remind ourselves that our children are not responsible for our feelings, negative or positive, that takes a big weight off of them, and puts us back in charge of creating the feelings we want to experience in our lives every moment of the day, no matter what may be going on.

If you are interested in finding more peace and joy as a Mama and learning some tools of emotional resilience so you can enjoy every part of your life, hit the COACH WITH ME button and fill out the interest form. Parenting is not easy, but it is meant to bring us joy! I can help! Be Blessed, Jenny

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