Do you find yourself getting flushed and embarrassed when your kid is having a tantrum in a public place?
We’ve all been there, Mama! Hang in there!
The main reason we feel embarrassed is that we are making it mean something about us! That we must be a bad mom because we can’t control our kid.
Gosh, we all must be bad moms then because I’ve never seen any person aside from ourselves that we truly have control over!
Did you know that toddler tantrums are a completely normal and healthy part of child development?
Unless the child is in danger of hurting themselves or someone else or property, they don’t need discipline right then.
But what they do need is support.
Their little brain has generated a big emotion and they are desperately trying to self-regulate (albeit not in the quietest way).
They need to complete the emotional cycle and allow the feeling to be released. Not held in. And not be shamed for feeling big feelings.
So, what’s a Mama to do at the moment?
Sometimes we must let them ride it out and do what comes naturally. It’s pretty incredible that children intuitively know to move their bodies to process the emotions they are feeling.
What does that look like? It might mean leaving a store before you are done shopping and sitting in the car for a bit. Or going back home and trying again another time.
Get curious as to what may be going on with them. Often, they won’t even know how to articulate it.
Could be they are hungry or hangry or too tired or overstimulated. Sometimes it looks like pushing through to grab a few necessities because you do need food to eat and not allowing stares or whispers from others to get to your heart. If they are a parent, I guarantee they have been there and if they aren’t they truly have no idea.
The most important thing is to keep control of yourself! Don’t allow embarrassment (which stems from either pride or shame) dictate how you choose to support your child. You are the only person you can control, right? Don’t turn on yourself and spiral out in shame and embarrassment.
Take a deep breath and ask the Lord for help. He promised that He would be an ever-present help in trouble, right? The only opinions we should care about is God’s and ours.
As adults, we get to have a bad day or a bad moment in our day. Why are we so surprised when our kids have trouble handling their big emotions?
If we want our children to feel safe in a challenging time, we must foster a safe space for them to express negative feelings when they are young.
Feelings are positive and negative, but none of them are bad. God created ALL the feelings to be expressed. Anxiety usually stems from unprocessed emotions. And we can teach our children that all feelings are ok and not to be ashamed of and give them the tools to process them in healthy ways and not take those big feelings out on everyone around them.
Hang in there, Mama! Getting good at giving our children grace for all the challenges begins with giving OURSELVES grace! Be Blessed, Jenny
#children #parenting #moms #Christianmoms #momcoach #parentingcoach #emotions #tantrums #momsupport #mothering #motheringwell #gentleparenting #lifecoaching #lifecoachingforwomen #processingemotions #emotionalwealth #emotionalresilience #homeschoolmomcoach #peacefulparenting #joyfulmother #toddlers #kids #child
~JENNY RIEFLIN MINISTRIES~ 