Remember when your child moved in and out of wanting to still be a baby and wanting to be a big kid? Sometimes they wanted to crawl up and snuggle you or get your loving care when they got a boo-boo and at times they wanted to begin to take care of themselves? It’s part of growing up, right?
They will go through the same cycle of “give and take” when they transition from a big kid to a teen and again from a teen to a young adult. In fact, I think we are to continue to “grow up” all of our lives. If you haven’t yet gone through menopause I like to refer to it as mid-life puberty, (but hopefully with less acne, ha!).
But getting back to our kids flying away from the nest (or getting ready to) here are a few thoughts for us Mamas…1. There is no magic amount of contact from your adult child that proves a sign of a healthy relationship. Every child is different in personality and needs and their level of contact with you might ebb and flow according to their busy schedule. Don’t make a lack of frequent contact mean something negative about you or your relationship. Reach out to them once in a while to let them know they are in your thoughts and that you’re always here if they need you. It’s a great way to keep YOUR heart feeling connected. 2. Only give advice when asked. Problem-solving skills are achieved by, well, solving problems. Allow your young adult child to make mistakes without shame, just like you did when growing into adulthood. Hold the highest belief and confidence in them that they and God will figure things out together. 3. Make sure you are giving of your time, physical space, and money FREELY. If you can’t give storage space or a bedroom at your home, your time commitment to something, or your financial support, without expecting something in return, be honest with your child about where you are at. You are both adults after all 😉 Otherwise, you will end up feeling resentful. I personally don’t like to give anyone a loan. I’d rather give it freely if the Holy Spirit prompts me to so that we are both free from any future expectations that may cause resentment if unmet. **Remember to make sure that you and your spouse are in agreement with any arrangements you make with your child**
As with every other stage of development that you have navigated together, so is this new phase of adulthood, and this too shall pass. Rather than be stressed about “doing it right”, much like you may have felt when you first brought them home from the hospital and that new season felt daunting, take a deep breath, settle into the newness, and just enjoy them and every minute you get to be with them. Soon they may be far off having adventures or starting a family of their own. So, be present and soak up the gift of time and relationship with your treasure. You have a lifetime ahead to discover so many new things about each other! ~Be Blessed, Jenny
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~JENNY RIEFLIN MINISTRIES~ 