Over the years I have spoken with many mamas who feel “mom guilt” when they have other interests, desires, and dreams in addition to the high calling of raising their arrows.
Why is that? Let’s talk about it.
I believe it’s because we have been taught that if you are a Mama, the calling to raise your children is the HIGHEST CALLING you will ever have. But is that true?
I do believe that if you are a Mama, while your children are growing up, whether you work outside the home, from home, or as a homeschool mom or homemaker, your children’s development (in every facet) should be your highest priority (after your relationship with the Lord and your spouse if you are married).
What does that look like? That means that your focus is first on raising them and meeting their needs, which can be more challenging if you also work outside or inside the home.
But while they are a HUGE part of your calling, they are never to be the TOTALITY of your calling! I believe this is why many mothers struggle with their own identity once their children leave the nest and feel such a loss of purpose.
While raising children is a huge responsibility not to be taken lightly, we are all called to LOVE THE LORD & LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR. That is why we remain on the earth after we become born-again. God needs us here on the earth to be His hands and feet and to use our gifts to “bring heaven to earth.”
If you are a Mama, your greatest legacy is not in what you do but in who you raise. Because we are called to multiply, and we will always be multiplying something in the earth, whether positive or negative. Our children are a heritage and a legacy that we get the privilege of leaving behind to carry on after we are gone.
So, our calling is something that will span many decades, of which the raising of children will only take two or three decades of your life, depending upon how many children you have. The gifts that God has placed within us will be used greatly with our own children, but He expects us to use every opportunity to be faithful to contribute our gifts throughout our lifetime.
I was a stay-at-home/homeschool Mama for more than 20 years, but during those years I also served alongside my husband in ministry as a pastor’s wife and my main focus was on caring for our children, teaching them, and caring for our home and supporting my husband’s calling. But as my children grew, so did the desire to step more deeply into what I was born for; to stand in the five-fold office of a teacher and disciple those around me, and God saw me faithful as I had poured out on my greatest treasures, my children, for many years.
You may have many other things burning in your heart and feel conflicted because you think it conflicts with your calling as a Mama. But it doesn’t have to. Those desires within you come from God and you may ebb and flow in different seasons in the application of them.
We all are taught to look up to the idealized woman portrayed in Proverbs 31, but have we really looked at her? She was a devoted Wife and Mother, for sure, but she was also a Creative working with her hands, a Cook, a Baker, a Leader to her maidens (wish we had some of those 😉 ) a wise Business woman earning money for her family and buying and selling real estate, a strong woman who took care of her physical fitness, a generous Philanthropist giving to the poor, a talented Weaver, a Teacher, a Homemaker caring for her household, a Seller of her products to the tradesmen at the city gates, and she was well-dressed and beautiful taking time to care for her own physical needs.
Has God put something more on your heart to step out into?
Maybe to create something, or sell something you are passionate about, or to teach something to others that He has put a spark in you to teach, or to start a business or ministry or organization?
Your frustration may lie in the fact that you keep pushing those nudges aside when He’s really calling you to embrace them. And by embracing them you might not be able to do it fully while your littles are very young, but you can begin to show yourself faithful to what He’s put on your heart.
We will continue to “mother” our children for our entire lives, but we will not always be “parenting” them. Ask God to show you all the wonderful gifts He’s placed in you! After living for 5 decades now I can see looking back how I have used the exact same gifts in many different ways to pour His love on many different people. How wonderful is it that WE GET TO partner with Him and Co-Create with His plan in the earth?!
As a coach, I LOVE to come alongside women who are ready to FULLY EMBRACE and ENJOY their Marriage, Motherhood, Ministry, and Mission! Every single woman on the planet is called to partner with God in one or more of these things. Hit the Coach With Me link if you’re ready to GET FREE of Mom guilt, and WALK into the purpose you were born for! ~Be Blessed, Jenny xoxo
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~JENNY RIEFLIN MINISTRIES~ 